a rainbow so perfect....

i nearly got into a car accident trying to take a picture of it.

 

i was considering chasing after it for that fatty pot of gold but then i would have been late to work.

speaking of work, i'm starting think that my new suburban lifestyle is hazardous to the health. for one i'm always falling asleep during my commute. and i mean during. like, falling asleep while driving at 60 mph on the freeway. no bueno. for another, i've noticed that i'm turning into a hateful, vindictive creature. in the past, it was common for me to talk a lot of shit, but generally, i would keep the hating within boundaries. nowadays i find myself talking shit about everything from how a girl looks ("her face offends me") to professions ("spoken word is not a career, it's a hobby.").

who am i to say any of this? is this what life in the suburbs does to you??!?



HAHAHAH but who am i kidding? this introspection aint gon change SHIET! imma just keep dranking that haturrraaaadddeeeee wuddddupppppppppppppppppPPPPPPP!!

yayyy!

nothing has gone right in so long that this feels kinda good!

the wtf files.

"Inside were invariably proposals, maps, hardware, tools, parts of a puzzle he and his crew would put together on adventures of incredible scale. Then came along The Spire."


The Spire?? WTF is the spire?? i hate it when this happens.

older men

from time to time heterogirls will talk about older men they'd like to fuck. usually i draw a blank, because i'm not really an older guy kinda girl.

but then today i watched the trailer to cairo time and i was like HOLY FUCK. I WOULD TOTALLY DROP TROU FOR ALEXANDER SIDDIG. oh man, he is so fine. i already thought he was fuckn hot as balls in syriana, but it never really crossed my mind that he would be an OGILF. but after this trailer i can see that graying on his sideburns and the crows feet by his eyes deepening and i'm like damn. break me off a piece of that!!



then there's clark johnson from the wire, who i think about ALL THE TIME  because he is fuckin hot as shit. and he's totally like, gentleman from the hood type. every time he appeared on the wire as editor of the sun my eyeballs would melt. i mean, during the show i was always like, man, i know he's like fkn at least 50+ and probably twice murried and divorced, but damn like if i worked at the paper i would DEFINITELY be working under him NAH MEAN NAH MEAN???!?!?!?

yeah seriously i could totally work with these two older men.

BOY am i hating life today.

oh mai goodness...

every day at work at around 3pm i get stupennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndously hongry. hongry to the point where i eat nuts. i hold out for as long as i can, but eventually i crack and i eat nuts. ugh. when you're hungry, everything tastes good. except for nuts. nuts still taste like ass, but at least they make me less hongry.

hilariously awesome wkend in vegA$$ with the ladies where i made incremental improvements to the shade of my skin, ate ridiculous amounts of food, cut through the line like we was urrrrrsherrrrr and saw snooki, lil kim and the "solution" all in one night. so yes, awesome weekend indeed

mother discovers my facebook

and loves my profile pictures.


conversation went as follows:


mom: "your brother showed me a picture of you as lady gaga. you look so cute!!"
me: "oh thanks mom!"
mom: "and i really like this one picture of you, it's like a closeup of your face, and you have some bangs across your forehead, you look so nice!"
me: "is it a black and white photo?"
mom: "yes!"
me: "that's not me."
mom: "what? no it's you. you look so nice!"
me: "no, mom, it's not me!"
mom: "no, no i'm sure it's you."
me: "no mom, it's not, it's a korean actress."
mom: "omg. omgggg whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaat??"
me: "yeah i know she looks just like me. i put up her picture for doppelganger week."
mom: "and then he showed me this other picture, he said it was a dog, but i said it should be a picture of your cats. but it wasn't! it was a picture of a sea lion!"
me: "that's how i feel right now."
mom: "that's so cute. don't you think the posture of the sea lion is so....graceful?"
me: ".........."
mom: "so when are you going to set up a facebook account for me?"


my own mother mistook PARK CHAE RIM FOR ME.WTFF??!?

oh baby

look at you, you pretty little thing. 

 

for the next three weeks i'm going to lick, stroke and sniff you. and then i'm going to devour you.

whatever, it's not even reading period yet.

instead of homestretching for finals yesterday and today, i skipped class on friday and spent sixteen out of the past forty-eight hours sitting though an intensive DV clinic. just do give you an idea of how intense it is, we started the day off watching this movie. you try dranking your morning koffee with rape, domestic violence and alcoholism. other than that though, it's refreshing, finally getting to conversate with intelligent, socially conscious individuals as interested as you about social justice issues (yes, two socials in one sentence b/c i am sicwiddit). lately, the skangk's been the only one i can talk to about these things. why is that? oh yeah, because i go to a POS grad school filled with ig'nant fuckspawn of ig'nant fat cats. yeah, you know who i'm talking about. i'm talking about THE MAN. he goes go my school. well you know what? FUCK THE MAN. this here bitch is abouts to rock the boat. 

i've been trying to convince the skangk to start a website with me. she's hesitant right now, but i'm think she's warming up to the idea, because she just sent me an email today with the words "our blog"!!! how excited am i?!? this shit is gonna be a game-changer!! we're gonna show those two annoying gels at disgrasian wsup. that is not how you write a socially conscious blog. i mean, does anyone really understand what disgrasian is all about? it has some serious identity crises. all those "disgrasian of the week"s, uhhh hey have you noticed...some of them ARENT ASIAN. at first i was like "ok, so they've done bad stuff that have somehow impacted APAs." HWRONG. and cumming all over the forever 21 chick? i thought forever's shitty labor practices were pretty much common knowledge, but hey, that just might be because of my exposure to the skangk's vast arsenal of social welfare knowledge. whatever. fuck disgrasion. how the hell did they get so much press? and an intern REALLY?????????? ugh. come summer, we're gonna start rolling our shit out, and we's about to crush a motherlover.

physical manifestations of exhaustion

generally i like to deny that i am not addicted to coffee, but i'm starting to think that...um, yeah, maybe i do have a problem. i rarely drink more than one cup a day, so i'm like, come on, the ones who drink 3+ cups are the ones who need help! however, come friday morning, i rolled out of bed an hour later than i had intended for myself, and rushed off to clinic without coffee in hand. 

OMFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGG it was sooooooooooooooooooooooo painful for me to stay awake. holy frak. my head was pounding by 11. we were in a church, so i ran around until i found a cheerful secretary who offered me the lukewarm dredges of her pot. THAT'S WHY SHE WAS SO CHEERFUL!! she drank the whole pot!!! COFFEE = HAPPYNESS. 

it was vile and disgusting, especially since she dumped some powder creamer in there for me. i can't drink coffee black. i can't drink it with cream, half and half or whole milk. it has to be skim milk. guh guh. i sped to the nearest s'bux after lunch and got myself a grande koofee and drink that shit vindictively. 

i'm so addicted. i love coffee. i love....coffee. i think about it all day. when i smell it my brain goes melt. mmm...coffee....

sex???

saw this article in forbes today and was very amused. 

apparently the 1926 macallan is the most expensive whiskey in the world, costing $38,000 and is sold out. macallan is my dad's favorite drink in the world, but i guess i can't buy this fine bottle for him after all.

but i can still buy the next most expensive whiskey in the world, also macallan, for $10,000.

all this made me think about my dad and i suddenly felt very sad. because of his diabetes, he can't drink anymore, and really, there's nothing he likes more than a glass of good malt on the rocks during dinner. other than maybe a nice long chat with his daughter, but on one hand she doesnt understand a damn thing he says, and on the other, he can't hear a damn thing she says.

age takes everything away from you.

never forget.

according to resist racism, this is a photo of a World War I veteran getting rounded up at the santa anita racetrack in arcadia, california, where japanese american civilians were held before getting herded like cattle into long-term internment camps during world war ii. 

i don't know his name. i don't know anything about him. but if you know anything about war, you know how brutal, how devastating the two world wars were for our grandparents and great grandparents, even our parents. the sacrifices they made are unimaginable to us.

social justice, civil liberties, human dignity - it's difficult to remember these fundamental rights in the rush and flow of daily routine, but every so often, we need reminding that our freedoms cannot be taken for granted. 

this photo breaks my heart.

mind blown

i need to learn how to make art like this.

credit where credit is due: milk

GREATEST. SHIT. EVAR.

COLD AS ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DARKNESS BROTHERS!!!!

WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS, SAY TO THE FACE?? SLAP!!!!

FUCK YO COUCH N----!!!!

es effffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

what was i thinking, going up to sf?? now, not only am i lagging on work, but i am also seized with an violent desire to move up there! 

why do i hate my school so much?????????

don't take offense, el ay. it's me, not you. (but really it's you)

"biodiversity down the barrel of a gun"

from the economist: 

conflict conservation

"Some such “parks” are accidents of settlement, or its absence. Nature is preserved in those rare places that people just have not got round to overrunning—for example the Foja Mountains in western New Guinea, an area of rainforest that teems with an astonishingly rich variety of plants and animals. Others are accidents of conflict: places from which people have fled and where the fauna and flora have thrived as a result.

"The demilitarised zone (DMZ) between North and South Korea is a good example. Over the past six decades this narrow and dangerous strip of land running 248km (155 miles) across the Korean peninsula has become a de facto nature reserve. As agriculture and industrialisation have moved ahead elsewhere, the thousand-square-kilometre DMZ, uninhabited and heavily mined, has been a refuge for two endangered birds: the white-naped and the red-crowned crane. It also contains Asiatic black bears, egrets and, according to some, an extremely rare subspecies of the Siberian tiger. The biggest threat to all this biodiversity is probably peace. There are already calls for the DMZ to be turned into a park in the event of reunification."

this makes me so sad. i can't even tell if this is really a sustained argument, the premise just makes me really really sad.

chocolate-saturated disaster.

i discovered a few years ago that i no longer enjoyed candy. instead, my desire for sweets had crystalized into a single form of culinary delight: CHOCOLATE.

sometimes the cravings are so bad i will eat the crappy semi-sweet chocolate bits left over from my last baking expedition. a giant bar of chocolate will vanish into the abyss of my tummy within hours. once, in high school, dee offered me half her snickers bar when i complained of hunger. i returned half of it to her with the chocolate and whipped cream nibbled off, and all but the caramel and peanuts left.

thank God those dark days are over. for the next two weeks, at least.

my favorite favorite FAVORITE chocolate these days is CHOCOLOVE RASPBERRY IN DARK CHOCOLATE 55% COCOA CONTENT KTHXBYE.

it used to be lion bars. i think i still love lion bars, in the way you get over your first love but that aftertaste still lingers in your mouth and mind because it was your first and it was so sweet and sexy and delicious. but CHOCOLOVE RASPBERRY IN DARK CHOCOLATE 55% COCOA CONTENT is like so undeniably hot, it's all smooth and sensuous in your mouth and after it melts you have the sharp sassy zing of raspberries sizzling on the tip of your tongue. it's your sophomore experience, where you're not so innocent and young anymore you want something bold and daring, something that will satiate your initial craving and then leave you wanting MORE.

this is not healthy.

overANALyze much?

predictably so, i read a lot of cultural discourse blogs because i mean, it's not like i should be reading cases and E&Es ALL THE TIME.

i recently came across a post that posed a very serious question:

"jenn f. found herself faced with a 'lucky taco' at the end of her meal at a mexican restaurant. it contained the following text: 'paco says, ‘a bird in hand can be very messy.’”

"is this is an appropriation of another culture? a cruel parody of an authentic tradition? an offensive stereotype to begin with that is no less offensive when re-racialized? or something else?"

this is what it looked like:

yeah, okay, seriously people, let's not get too carried away here. this...this is hilarious!! i mean, come on, a lucky taco?? "a bird in the hand can get very messy"??? that's straight up wise words right there! HAHAHHAHAHA!

the entry goes on to ask, "So this company took the chinese fortune cookie and re-racialized it…. three times over. Is this is an appropriation of chinese culture?"

no! i mean, wtf. are you seriously going to apply the term "re-racialized" to something that doesn't even have honest culinary roots and suggest that it carries any legitimate cultural connotations? if i'm offended by any part of this, it is the idea that chinese cuisine has a monopoly over the concept of a fortune cookie. the fortune cookie is something quintessentially asian american in origin, but it does NOT have a singular background. its history is diverse and deeply tied to the history of asian america. to denote the concept as patently chinese is tantamount to saying CREESPEE COOKIIIEEE WIS FORTUNE INSIDE IS FROM CHINA!!!!! WHERE PEEPOH HAVE SLANTY EYES AND EAT DOG!!

(that's cacophony going on in my head right now - i realize this is not what they are actually saying)

UGH. this is the kind of self-marginalizing aggrandizement that turns people off from being socially minded. because all this extrapolation is totally, utterly bullshit.

JEEERRRRRSSSEEYYYYY SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!!!!

my best friends from college are partly made up of a group of girls i lived with freshman year at cardinal gardens. they were a contingent of smart, sassy, cute little asian girls with dirty mouths and an even dirtier sense of humor. all of us are asian, with the exception of j, who is in fact, jewish. HA HA HA.

this is only funny if you've ever met her.



okay, now you have.

HAHAHA. j is in fact a korean adoptee, raised in.... .... wait for it....

JERSEY SHORE.

despite her reppin this fact since the days of cardinal and sin, none of us really understood, or cared, until THIS show came out: JERSEY SHORE - aka, the best thing to ever happen to reality TV. this show prompted more than one of us to exclaim upon the completion of yet another hilarious episode, "wow. now, i understand j. i really understand her now."



the series just came to an end, and WOW it's amazing just how the seven biggest assholes and bitches you've ever seen in your life can be so goddamn endearing. i remember when the show was about to come out, yaddam sent me the trailer, and i was liiike, "whaadaaafaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkk, is this shit curreeeiillll???" yeah in fact it was. when the first episode aired karina and i happened to be at the gym (we don't have tv at home) and on the treadmills. we almost fell off. over the course of a summer, you watch how the lovely kids grow to become -sniff- a tanned, guido family. my favorite is mike "the situation" who seems to try to come off as a dick but in fact is a total softie. snooki is a close second, but damn that girl is a fucking trainwreck! the shenanigans are hilarious, but i think the crux of the show is in the totally unnecessary drama that the guidos hash up. now that it's over, people are already discussing - what's the future of the show? mtv can either bring the old cast back, but it will no longer be as fresh and funny. or they could get another group of guidos, but they're just gonna try to emulate the old cast. no way they can replicate the same sleeper success.

or they could create..........

KTOWN HOTTIES!!!!!!

someone needs to pitch the idea to mtv to get a house and stuff it full of koreans. homggg HOW AMASIAN WOULD THAT BE?????? think about ALL THE DRAMA!!! it'd be 10,000x more crazy than jersey shore, cos koreans will cut a bitch. think about all the lv toting yujahs screaming "HOOOOOMMMMAIIIGAAAWWWWWD HAI AM LIKE SOOOOOOOOOO DRUUNNNK RIGHT NOW WHERE IS MY FUCKING CELLLLLLLLLLLPHONE????????" and the ex-lambda fratboys getting into knife fights outside le cercle every friday night????? omg....omg just thinking about it makes me so excited!!!!!!!!!!! instead of mike "the situation" there'd be mike kim "the palindrome" who also has a sixpack and drives a mercedes amg. instead of ronnie there'd be stephen lee "the anti-asian stereotype" who can drink 3/4 of a bottle of johnny walker without driving his car into a pole. there'd be esther park "e-poww", the korean princess with $40,000 worth of enhancements delicately applied to her face. there'd be esther chung, "the rebel", a pastor's kid trying to be an actress while bartending at gam.

how fucking awesome would that be??????????????????????????????

of course, the korean american community is going to be up in arms about the negative portrayal of korean americans but damn that shit is gonna be a moneymaker. count on it.

-

btw, that j i described is not longer the same j that passes out on the couch hugging her giant bong with red wine stains on her mouth. today our lovely j is a phd student with fabulous hair and a loving almost-fiance, back living at the shore. she still loves a nice, packed bowl every day, but hey, that's what makes her j.

Na's together and ridiculous

check out gallina's teef


roomies


wifeys


it was a night of karina's faces


um...let's never tell anyone what we almost got that night ok?

"i'll be gone" by mario basanov, vidis, jazzu

Mario Basanov, Vidis, Jazzu - I'll be gone from Serge Rush on Vimeo.

one of my favorite songs and possibly my favorite mv.