what. up.

dear diary,

today i parallel parked for the first time in an entire year. to cement my stature as supreme being of the universe, my mad pp skyLLzz were impeccable as always. i backed the car into the spot with perfect precision and effortless maneuvering. the quicksilver flow of my car along the sidewalk was a beauty to behold. a small crowd of pedestrians gathered to watch. afterwards they laid flowers at my feet when i emerged from the car's interior.

in other news, janus's spoiled ass demanded that i set up a tribute for her on lglbc, which i will ignore, because as soon as i get my new computer, i will put up a massive photoentry, inclusive of pictures of her skank ass. WHAT. UP.

until then, peace be unto you.

amen.

tissue for my issues.

one by one they leave me, leaving huge gaping holes in my heart.

first anna...then qs. then aileen. then tina. now ali.

i fill the holes by engaging in consumer frenzy.

exhibit a:



that's right. i bought the same skirt in five - FIVE - different colors.

i have problems.

warning: contents explosive

last night's items/events included:

1) dildo



2) flasher



3) naked brit in phone booth



4) tits



5) a bottle of carlsberg dropped 26 stories to land on the hood of a bmw (picture not included)

and

6) a 2am trip to the hospital for a broken hand



this is how we roll in the s'hai-town.