this is only funny if you've ever met her.
okay, now you have.
HAHAHA. j is in fact a korean adoptee, raised in.... .... wait for it....
JERSEY SHORE.
despite her reppin this fact since the days of cardinal and sin, none of us really understood, or cared, until THIS show came out: JERSEY SHORE - aka, the best thing to ever happen to reality TV. this show prompted more than one of us to exclaim upon the completion of yet another hilarious episode, "wow. now, i understand j. i really understand her now."
the series just came to an end, and WOW it's amazing just how the seven biggest assholes and bitches you've ever seen in your life can be so goddamn endearing. i remember when the show was about to come out, yaddam sent me the trailer, and i was liiike, "whaadaaafaaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkkk, is this shit curreeeiillll???" yeah in fact it was. when the first episode aired karina and i happened to be at the gym (we don't have tv at home) and on the treadmills. we almost fell off. over the course of a summer, you watch how the lovely kids grow to become -sniff- a tanned, guido family. my favorite is mike "the situation" who seems to try to come off as a dick but in fact is a total softie. snooki is a close second, but damn that girl is a fucking trainwreck! the shenanigans are hilarious, but i think the crux of the show is in the totally unnecessary drama that the guidos hash up. now that it's over, people are already discussing - what's the future of the show? mtv can either bring the old cast back, but it will no longer be as fresh and funny. or they could get another group of guidos, but they're just gonna try to emulate the old cast. no way they can replicate the same sleeper success.
or they could create..........
KTOWN HOTTIES!!!!!!
someone needs to pitch the idea to mtv to get a house and stuff it full of koreans. homggg HOW AMASIAN WOULD THAT BE?????? think about ALL THE DRAMA!!! it'd be 10,000x more crazy than jersey shore, cos koreans will cut a bitch. think about all the lv toting yujahs screaming "HOOOOOMMMMAIIIGAAAWWWWWD HAI AM LIKE SOOOOOOOOOO DRUUNNNK RIGHT NOW WHERE IS MY FUCKING CELLLLLLLLLLLPHONE????????" and the ex-lambda fratboys getting into knife fights outside le cercle every friday night????? omg....omg just thinking about it makes me so excited!!!!!!!!!!! instead of mike "the situation" there'd be mike kim "the palindrome" who also has a sixpack and drives a mercedes amg. instead of ronnie there'd be stephen lee "the anti-asian stereotype" who can drink 3/4 of a bottle of johnny walker without driving his car into a pole. there'd be esther park "e-poww", the korean princess with $40,000 worth of enhancements delicately applied to her face. there'd be esther chung, "the rebel", a pastor's kid trying to be an actress while bartending at gam.
how fucking awesome would that be??????????????????????????????
of course, the korean american community is going to be up in arms about the negative portrayal of korean americans but damn that shit is gonna be a moneymaker. count on it.
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btw, that j i described is not longer the same j that passes out on the couch hugging her giant bong with red wine stains on her mouth. today our lovely j is a phd student with fabulous hair and a loving almost-fiance, back living at the shore. she still loves a nice, packed bowl every day, but hey, that's what makes her j.
