the wtf files.

"Inside were invariably proposals, maps, hardware, tools, parts of a puzzle he and his crew would put together on adventures of incredible scale. Then came along The Spire."


The Spire?? WTF is the spire?? i hate it when this happens.

older men

from time to time heterogirls will talk about older men they'd like to fuck. usually i draw a blank, because i'm not really an older guy kinda girl.

but then today i watched the trailer to cairo time and i was like HOLY FUCK. I WOULD TOTALLY DROP TROU FOR ALEXANDER SIDDIG. oh man, he is so fine. i already thought he was fuckn hot as balls in syriana, but it never really crossed my mind that he would be an OGILF. but after this trailer i can see that graying on his sideburns and the crows feet by his eyes deepening and i'm like damn. break me off a piece of that!!



then there's clark johnson from the wire, who i think about ALL THE TIME  because he is fuckin hot as shit. and he's totally like, gentleman from the hood type. every time he appeared on the wire as editor of the sun my eyeballs would melt. i mean, during the show i was always like, man, i know he's like fkn at least 50+ and probably twice murried and divorced, but damn like if i worked at the paper i would DEFINITELY be working under him NAH MEAN NAH MEAN???!?!?!?

yeah seriously i could totally work with these two older men.

BOY am i hating life today.

oh mai goodness...

every day at work at around 3pm i get stupennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndously hongry. hongry to the point where i eat nuts. i hold out for as long as i can, but eventually i crack and i eat nuts. ugh. when you're hungry, everything tastes good. except for nuts. nuts still taste like ass, but at least they make me less hongry.

hilariously awesome wkend in vegA$$ with the ladies where i made incremental improvements to the shade of my skin, ate ridiculous amounts of food, cut through the line like we was urrrrrsherrrrr and saw snooki, lil kim and the "solution" all in one night. so yes, awesome weekend indeed

mother discovers my facebook

and loves my profile pictures.


conversation went as follows:


mom: "your brother showed me a picture of you as lady gaga. you look so cute!!"
me: "oh thanks mom!"
mom: "and i really like this one picture of you, it's like a closeup of your face, and you have some bangs across your forehead, you look so nice!"
me: "is it a black and white photo?"
mom: "yes!"
me: "that's not me."
mom: "what? no it's you. you look so nice!"
me: "no, mom, it's not me!"
mom: "no, no i'm sure it's you."
me: "no mom, it's not, it's a korean actress."
mom: "omg. omgggg whhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaat??"
me: "yeah i know she looks just like me. i put up her picture for doppelganger week."
mom: "and then he showed me this other picture, he said it was a dog, but i said it should be a picture of your cats. but it wasn't! it was a picture of a sea lion!"
me: "that's how i feel right now."
mom: "that's so cute. don't you think the posture of the sea lion is so....graceful?"
me: ".........."
mom: "so when are you going to set up a facebook account for me?"


my own mother mistook PARK CHAE RIM FOR ME.WTFF??!?

oh baby

look at you, you pretty little thing. 

 

for the next three weeks i'm going to lick, stroke and sniff you. and then i'm going to devour you.

whatever, it's not even reading period yet.

instead of homestretching for finals yesterday and today, i skipped class on friday and spent sixteen out of the past forty-eight hours sitting though an intensive DV clinic. just do give you an idea of how intense it is, we started the day off watching this movie. you try dranking your morning koffee with rape, domestic violence and alcoholism. other than that though, it's refreshing, finally getting to conversate with intelligent, socially conscious individuals as interested as you about social justice issues (yes, two socials in one sentence b/c i am sicwiddit). lately, the skangk's been the only one i can talk to about these things. why is that? oh yeah, because i go to a POS grad school filled with ig'nant fuckspawn of ig'nant fat cats. yeah, you know who i'm talking about. i'm talking about THE MAN. he goes go my school. well you know what? FUCK THE MAN. this here bitch is abouts to rock the boat. 

i've been trying to convince the skangk to start a website with me. she's hesitant right now, but i'm think she's warming up to the idea, because she just sent me an email today with the words "our blog"!!! how excited am i?!? this shit is gonna be a game-changer!! we're gonna show those two annoying gels at disgrasian wsup. that is not how you write a socially conscious blog. i mean, does anyone really understand what disgrasian is all about? it has some serious identity crises. all those "disgrasian of the week"s, uhhh hey have you noticed...some of them ARENT ASIAN. at first i was like "ok, so they've done bad stuff that have somehow impacted APAs." HWRONG. and cumming all over the forever 21 chick? i thought forever's shitty labor practices were pretty much common knowledge, but hey, that just might be because of my exposure to the skangk's vast arsenal of social welfare knowledge. whatever. fuck disgrasion. how the hell did they get so much press? and an intern REALLY?????????? ugh. come summer, we're gonna start rolling our shit out, and we's about to crush a motherlover.

physical manifestations of exhaustion

generally i like to deny that i am not addicted to coffee, but i'm starting to think that...um, yeah, maybe i do have a problem. i rarely drink more than one cup a day, so i'm like, come on, the ones who drink 3+ cups are the ones who need help! however, come friday morning, i rolled out of bed an hour later than i had intended for myself, and rushed off to clinic without coffee in hand. 

OMFFFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGG it was sooooooooooooooooooooooo painful for me to stay awake. holy frak. my head was pounding by 11. we were in a church, so i ran around until i found a cheerful secretary who offered me the lukewarm dredges of her pot. THAT'S WHY SHE WAS SO CHEERFUL!! she drank the whole pot!!! COFFEE = HAPPYNESS. 

it was vile and disgusting, especially since she dumped some powder creamer in there for me. i can't drink coffee black. i can't drink it with cream, half and half or whole milk. it has to be skim milk. guh guh. i sped to the nearest s'bux after lunch and got myself a grande koofee and drink that shit vindictively. 

i'm so addicted. i love coffee. i love....coffee. i think about it all day. when i smell it my brain goes melt. mmm...coffee....

sex???