WOAHHHHHWOOWOAHHH WATCHMENNNNNNNNN

a lot of eye candy, a lot of gratuitous violence. great attention to detail.

characters:

edgar jacobi/moloch: omg the yoda ears were fantastique. fantastique!!

edward blake: i thought he was rd jr in the trailer. i wish he had been played by rd jr. i guess there was a height requirement.

silk spectre/sally jupiter: carla gugino! you are so beautiful!

silk spectre ii/laurie: d- on the acting, but those were some great prom-worthy fake eyelashes there. m.a.c. or shu uemura?

dan dreiberg/nite owl ii: patrick wilson. you are so fabulously awkward. you are so awkward in every role you play and i love it. i was expecting to find some seamless mormon underpants beneath that owlish uniform. ahh...nerd love.

dr. manhattan: wait, was he even in the movie? i thought he was a key character....

adrian veidt/ozymandias: EPIC. FAIL. WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO CAST A BRITISH FOOL WHO LOOKS LIKE A SHRUNKEN STEVE BUSCEMI AND WHO HAS AN OBVIOUS SPEECH IMPEDIMENT AND SEVERE ACCENT AMBIVALENCE TO PLAY THE MASTERMIND OF THE MOVIE. NO SERIOUSLY WHO CAST HIM. WHO THE FUCK CASTED THIS ASSCLOWN. THIS IS OZYMANDIAS MANG. LIKE. MAN CAN CATCH A FUCKING BULLET IN HIS HAND, CANNOT AFFORD A HAIRSTYLIST.

rorschach: "I'm not locked in here with you! You're locked in here with ME!" can i just say. BAD. ASS. the biggest win of the movie. jackie earle haley, pitch-fucking-perfect. rorschach was perfectly realized in this movie, everything from voice, delivery, to that fucking....amazing mask. pretty much ameliorated the fact ozymandias was an utter fail.

other stuff:

- i actually appreciate that the squid and the nuclear holocaust was flattened into one issue. besides the fact that the squid and nuclear bombs served the same purpose, would have had similar effects, and thus were mutually redundant, i never really liked the idea of humanity being decimated by telepathic pulses emitted via giant vagina with tentacles (not testicles).

- while reading the book the thought occurred to me, but it wasnt until i saw doc manhattan on screen that it really hit me how limited human communication is, and how a being like doc manhattan, for whom time is irrelevant, is constrained by something as rudimentary as grammar from being able to express his experience of time and space.

- at some point i realized this was really a movie for folks who had read the book. and at that point, i think some things that were never explicitly stated in the book should have remained that way. there was no point bludgeoning everyone over the head with it.

- again, adrain veidt: total fail. matthew goode is a shrimpy little motherfucker and adrian veidt is a motherfucking beast. i'm really disappointed there wasnt that tv segment of ozymandias doing turns on the high bar. really disappointed.

- zac snyder is a sly bastard.

- what kind of message is this movie sending out about women? i dont even want to get into the dialectics of it all. what sort of fucked up stockholm syndrome is inured with the blake-jupiter reveal? pregnant vietanmese woman gets shot? lesbian superhero gets shot? nuclear was isnt the only thing dated with watchmen.

- veidt's scientist lackeys were amazingly ethnically realistic: a team composed half of white scientists and half of east asian scientists led by a south (most likely indian) scientist.

- from imdb:
Snyder:"Worst case scenario - Alan puts the movie on his DVD player on a cold Sunday in London and watches and says, 'Yeah, that doesn't suck too bad.'"
Moore: "That's the worst case scenario? I think he's underestimated what the worst case scenario would be... that's never going to happen in my DVD player in 'London' [Moore very famously lives in Northampton]. I'm never going to watch this fucking thing."

- TALES OF THE BLACK FREIGHTER WOWOOOAOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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but really. all i have to say is - WHEN ARE THEY COMING OUT WITH THE WILD C.A.T.S. MOVIE, BITTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHH??!???!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?