there is basically a 100% chance that i will be offended by the following statement even if it's something completely innocuous.
also, shit, damn, motherfucker the apartment smells like rabbit dung on crack. look at this overfed motherfucker whose smell is pervading our whole damn apartment.
in a few short months it morphed from this cute-ish thing that could fit in my shoe....
TO THIS HIRSUTE BEAST THAT COULD EAT MY FUCKING SHOE!! WTF!!!!
no, seriously. all i want is to eat this mf so that it can once and for all be gone from my life. please. someone. bear grylls?
