nice to meet you

we

are

not

fans

of

this

one

missing the city of angels

i was looking through my subscriptions in google reader today when i came across an entry in amy sol's blog about her feature in juxtapoz magazine. i did a double take. i could have sworn i'd seen the exact same spread, except with audrey kawasaki. sometimes i wonder if they're the same person...they curate each other's works, they exhibit at the same places, they give similarly whimsical answers.





and does juxtapoz do wildlife spreads with all their featured artists, or just the two little asian girls who have eerily reflective lives?

-

i haven't blogged in a long time, i realize, but sometimes i feel like life is moving too quickly for my fingers to keep up with. orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it could just be that my add forbids me to dwell on any single event in my life long enough to write about it.

anyway, in new york now. life here is hectic but fun. some day i will do a big east vs west throwdown, but not today. good night!

♥

DOGGIES!!!!

saw these on jezebel the other day and i laughed my ass off....



this one's thought bubble says:

"Oh god. I just spent three quarters of my day licking myself. I just sit here, with a bowl of water, some toys and my urges – lonely one minute and satisfied the next. Such a wicked paradox. I need to get out. I need to meet people. But I’m happy this way. It feels good. So good. But my crotch shouldn’t define me. Was it the way I was raised? Did my dad bury his face in his crotch for hours on end? Not dad. I never smelt it on his breath. Well maybe once, but I can’t be sure that was crotch. The guy ate garbage like it was going out of style. But really, some pages are better left unturned. Am I the only one? I doubt it. That Rottweiler probably treats his nether regions like a buffet. Look at me. I’m justifying my lack of discipline by making up stories about other dogs I don’t even know. I need a drink. Then I need to lick my crotch. More like want. Is that selfish? Self-pleasuring myself for half a day? Screw it. I’m going in. If my owner could do it, he would. So it’s perfectly natural. Isn’t it? I need a distraction. That ball looks okay. Oh crap. I need something new. Something that doesn’t involve my crotch. It’s all I’ve got. My walker’s cool, but I can’t lick his crotch. It’s gonna take everything I’ve got to make it through the night. Just one night."




this one's outta control:

"Should I sniff her butt? Will she mind if I sniff her butt? What will it say about me if I sniff his butt? Maybe I’m gay? Should I question sniffing butts so much? Do other dogs sniff as many butts as I do? How many butts have I sniffed this week? I’m guessing it’s a lot if I’m questioning it so much. I love sniffing butts. I need to sniff one right now. There aren’t any around. I have to get a hold of myself. Who am I kidding? I need a butt and I need it now. Now. Good god. Am I living a life that’s guided by butt sniffing? I am. My parent’s warned me. I didn’t listen. Like a cheap tramp. A whore. I’m a butt-sniffing whore. What if I tried to cut down? Nothing heavy. Just a few sniffs a day. I can do that. I know I can. I’ve done it before. But do I really want to? I mean, that’s what we do. We sniff butts. No one looks down on me for it. There was that guy who gave me a look while I was in mid-sniff. Who is he to judge me for sniffing a butt? Maybe I’m just being paranoid. I get like that when I haven’t sniffed a butt. I’ll stop cold turkey. But not now. The fever’s too strong. A wiff will get me through the night. Just one, heartfelt inhale of the poodle across the street and I’ll be satisfied. I love how she resists at first and then sticks it out with reckless abandon. What a slut. Wait. Why is she a slut? I’m the one going in there. That coy little look she gives me when she walks down the street. Oh, I’m sniffing that butt. Count on it."

hi-fucking-larious

eight-year-old cousin chloe to my mom:

"um. 姑姑. can you like. have another baby (pause). cause like, diana's really boring."

but get rid of the gun/it's covered in clues/the one that you used/to kill off the player inside

totally feeling this right now

lupe!
ho, verbal
F-N-F U-P
yeah, we do what we do
chicago mann

can you let me know?
baby can we get up together?
i ain't like those chicks, i'll treat you better
don't waste no more time
baby let's go
maybe we can go
baby i'm down to do whatever
i don't really care, it doesn't matter
let's not waste no time
maybe, let's go

love, you gotta love it
hold hands in public
i does it, cool
i dug it
everything you do
and everything you doesn't
everything you done
hope i'm the one you does it to
hope this trick goes wrong
and i'm cut in two
so i can feel it twice as much as two lu's
to lose is something that i never wanna do
i'm too loose to check on this track like choo
choose, to choose, i'd rather have you
even if it's half
and i'll even hold for the whole if i have to
but i don't wanna one
that's too close to none, come
but get rid of the gun
it's covered in clues
the one that you used
to kill off the player inside
and i brought back some flowers from the funeral for you
you should come and make moves with a brother like uh

can you let me know?
baby can we get up together?
i ain't like those chicks, i'll treat you better
don't waste no more time
baby let's go
maybe we can go
baby i'm down to do whatever
i don't really care, it doesn't matter
let's not waste no time
maybe, let's go

yeah, i go by the name of verbal
yea let's go
yo
it all happened in a second
my universe froze
ain't a situation I chose
but it chose me
when i caught a glimpse
of the beautiful, just posin'
i know all the rappers be talkin' about clothes and hoes
but she ain't that type, ya see
anyway I'm still froze
like megatron in cryogenic form
i need to get warm
she's my cue
i gotta transform
so i could come through with whatever she wants
she's already glossed and flossed with charm like the 4 seas
can't imagine what her closet with cost me
yeah my brain spin with velocity
thinking about ways to get up
wishin', but i can't, so i could be the man
so i just stand, wishin' i could have her

can you let me know?
baby can we get up together?
i ain't like those chicks, i'll treat you better
don't waste no more time
baby let's go
maybe we can go
baby i'm down to do whatever
i don't really care, it doesn't matter
let's not waste no time
maybe, let's go

can you let me know?
baby can we get up together?
i ain't like those chicks, i'll treat you better
don't waste no more time
baby let's go
maybe we can go
baby i'm down to do whatever
i don't really care, it doesn't matter
let's not waste no time
maybe, let's go

yeah, uh uh
yeah, at times like this
i dunno what to do but to rhyme like this
she probably don't even know i exist
can't figure out why i can't take this
yeah, at times like this
i'm wishing i could be a little stronger than this
too many worries and prerequisites
just to reach ya, just to be with ya
so far, still so far apart, all i want is just to talk
uh uh uh
i swear to God
yeah
so far, still so far apart, all i want is just to talk
i swear to God

oh lupe why are you so coooooooool??

what. up.

dear diary,

today i parallel parked for the first time in an entire year. to cement my stature as supreme being of the universe, my mad pp skyLLzz were impeccable as always. i backed the car into the spot with perfect precision and effortless maneuvering. the quicksilver flow of my car along the sidewalk was a beauty to behold. a small crowd of pedestrians gathered to watch. afterwards they laid flowers at my feet when i emerged from the car's interior.

in other news, janus's spoiled ass demanded that i set up a tribute for her on lglbc, which i will ignore, because as soon as i get my new computer, i will put up a massive photoentry, inclusive of pictures of her skank ass. WHAT. UP.

until then, peace be unto you.

amen.

tissue for my issues.

one by one they leave me, leaving huge gaping holes in my heart.

first anna...then qs. then aileen. then tina. now ali.

i fill the holes by engaging in consumer frenzy.

exhibit a:



that's right. i bought the same skirt in five - FIVE - different colors.

i have problems.